we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
pop tarts are not kleenex
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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