your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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