Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
