Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
