i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
