I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
