i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
