when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
