Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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