It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
