it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
