If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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