Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize