You're completely useless in the revolution.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
