I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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