I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
