Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
