just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize