Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
