just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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