I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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