he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
