Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
