i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
