what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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