So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
