I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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