We're like a lot better than the average bears
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
