Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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