college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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