I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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