My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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