drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
