I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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