brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her vagine was all disorganized.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
