i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
