Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.

Fav 27 3146 4860
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(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

Fav 15 7105 841
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(708): View more from Illinois

You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

Fav 13 6882 1593
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(949): View more from California

I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

Fav 4 3445 1370
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(905): View more from Ontario

I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

Fav 12 1314 2704
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

Fav 7 3400 1101
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.

Fav 2 134 78
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(720): View more from Colorado

People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.

Fav 0 29 28
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