Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dignity is for republicans.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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