Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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