put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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