I will die if light touches me.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
