a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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