Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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