believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
NoShamevember. You game?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
