I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
