If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize