how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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