did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
