I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize