Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
