nut hugger
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
