my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
