Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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