i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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