My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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