i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
