He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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