Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I've blown a few things in my day
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
