Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize