yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
