You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
