Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
