They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
