Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
