He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
