We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The air was thick with penises
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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