Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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