Whod you bang
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The best revenge is premature balding
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
