This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
