Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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