He kissed a someone with a penis
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
