hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
