I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
